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Humorist

To quote Will Rogers over and over and .....

Submitted by Roanman on Sat, 05/02/2009 - 11:12
 
I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.
 
Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans.
 
No party is as bad as its leaders.
 
We always want the best man to win an election.  Unfortunately, he never runs.
 
The best thing about this group of candidates is that only one of them can win.
 
There ought to be one day-just one-when there is open season on senators.
 
There's no way in the world you're going to make a political party respectable unless you keep it out of office.
 
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
 
I don't make jokes.  I just watch the government and report the facts.
 
Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it.
 
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
 
It costs ten times more to govern that it used to, and we are not governed one-tenth as good.
 
I can remember way back when a liberal was generous with his own money.
 
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.
 
The crime of taxation is not in the taking it, it's in the way that it's spent.
 
We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business.
 
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.
 
I think this sales tax is the best tax we have had in years.
 
For every nation and every individual, the principal worry is debt.
 
We'll show the world we are prosperous, even if we have to go broke to do it.
 
I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times.
 
If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping.
'Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that's mass production.
 
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
 
Things will get better-despite our efforts to improve them.
 
When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.
 
Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.
 
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
 
Say as little as possible while appearing to be awake.
 
Things ain't what they used to be and never were.
 
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
 
Just because it's common sense, doesn't mean it's common practice.
 
Even though you are on the right track - you will get run over if you just sit there.
 
You never know how much a man can't remember until he is called as a witness.
 
No nation ever had two better friends than we have.  You know who they are?  The Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
 
I have a scheme for stopping war.   No nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.

 

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