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The origin of astrology

Submitted by Roanman on Tue, 10/05/2010 - 11:29


The following, is a true story.

The study of astronomy and astrology began around the fire.

Football not yet having been invented, Og, Og Jr., Og's brothers Ogo, Magog, Larry and a couple of the other guys had been sitting around discussing the days successful hunt, the relative quality of the well fermented juice they'd been drinking and of course .......... women.

Conversation had slowed some, they were all laying back on their furs gazing sleepily into the heavens when Og Jr. said, "That sure is a big damn moon tonight."

Og Sr. replied sharply. "Hey!!!!! ... Language."

Larry, starting to laugh under his breath, said, "Hey!  You guys remember when those crazy bastards up the hill got all juiced up, started running around like idiots chasing themselves all over the place and ran straight off the cliff?  Moon looked just like it does right now.  Bigger'n Hell.  They still ran off the damn thing.  That was sure an ugly f*%#@ing pile at the bottom."

Laughter broke out all around the circle as Og Jr, still admiring the huge golden ball right there in front of him had another thought.  Turning to his Uncle Larry he said, "Hey, wasn't the moon a lot like this the night Kenl went ape shit on your head with a rock over you trying to get into Alpa's furries?"

"Yep. said Larry laughing harder now, delighted with the memory.  "I'll never forget it.  I tell you what, if I'd of made it, it would have been worth it.  Alpa was looking damn hot that night.  Only took me three weeks to see straight. .......... Still got the dent in my head. ......... Here, feel here. .......... Yeah right there."

"Damn!!!" said Jr.

"Damn Right!!!" replied Larry.

Og Sr. smiling, quietly enjoying the conversation, had been contentedly scanning the sky when his gaze fell on the red planet.  Admiring Mars, his body suddenly stiffened a bit.  He leaned forward, now intent, his face thoughtful, serious.  His brow furrowed, as sudden worry shoved that contentment right out of his heart.

"Mags." he said thoughtfully, "Remember when we were little, and those a#&%$%*s from across the river attacked us for no good reason?"  

"Yup. said Magog, "Bastards killed ol' Kot and Frank.  F*%^$ed up Pel and Tol pretty good too."

Yeah, Pel was so jacked up, he never hunted again." Og remembered out loud, almost to himself.

A long moment passed.

"You know. said Og softly, eyes fixed on the red planet, "The night those bastards attacked us, that red one there was damn near exactly right there in the sky where it is right now.  I remember like it was yesterday.  I was sitting up against that big tree that fell into the meadow lookin' at it when they came in on us."

As an uncomfortable silence fell around the little fire, the bright moonlight, so beautiful just a moment ago, now felt hard and dangerous.  Feeling exposed, they leaned back a little into the shadows around them, eyes sharpening.  A couple, maybe three silent minutes later, Og got up.

"Where ya goin?" asked Ogo.

"I think I'll just go grab me a spear, maybe a couple good sharp rocks." said Og,  "Better safe than sorry."

Larry, having pushed himself all the way back into the shadow of the massive formation shielding them from the wind, got up and followed his brother out of the circle while thoughtfully rubbing the dent in his head.  Ya know? he said, "That ain't the worst idea I've heard today.  Oggy, grab your stuff, and jump on up to the perch!  I'll get you in a couple hours."