To quote President James A. Garfield ... about two weeks before his assassination.





The assassination probably has nothing to do with the quote, I was just pretending to be the Freep.

Click this here little gear here for the story of one of the more interesting trials in American History, that of Charles Guiteau for the murder of President James A. Garfield wherein he admitted to the shooting but claimed innocence for the murder, pinning Garfield's death on lousy doctoring.

He might have had a point there.

Click this here little gear here for a photgraph of Mr. Guiteau's brain in a mason jar ..... seriously.

Clearly, Mr. Guiteau's defense was unsuccessful.


To quote Virgil Thomson


The first time I read this quote, I thought it was bonehead.

As I got a little older, maybe a bit more mature and learned a little about meditation, I decided that Mr. Thomson gets it right and have come to the conclusion that a little internal silence today will frequently result in a little blinding revelation tomorrow.

While not one of my favorite musicians ... I'm giving it a 32 Dick, you can't dance to it ... his film scores always feel very warm and very American to me.

Click on the photo for the famed 1937 documentory The Plow that Broke the Plains which along with The River is widely regarded as an American film treasure, both of these films were scored by Virgil Thomson.





To quote Voltaire over and over and ...


Illusion is the first of all pleasures.

Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do.

If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent Him.

The ideal form of government is democracy tempered with assassination.


The best government is a benevolent tyranny tempered by an occasional assassination.

As long as people believe in absurdities they will continue to commit atrocities.


Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.

Divorce is probably of nearly the same date as marriage. I believe, however, that marriage is some weeks the more ancient.

He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend; provided, of course, he really is dead.

Is there anyone so wise as to learn by the experience of others?

It is dangerous to be right in matters on which the established authorities are wrong.

Tyrants have always some slight shade of virtue; they support the laws before destroying them.

It is not enough to conquer; one must learn to seduce.

It is not love that should be depicted as blind, but self-love.

It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue.

It is said that the present is pregnant with the future.

Judge a man by his questions rather than his answers.

No problem can withstand the assault of sustained thinking.

The true triumph of reason is that it enables us to get along with those who do not possess it.

Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so also.

Prejudices are what fools use for reason.

When it is a question of money, everybody is of the same religion.

God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give ourselves the gift of living well.


To quote Voltaire





Reading on a cold Sunday evening.


CNN of all people provides a well done story on Dean Tofteland, ripped off farmer in the MF Global fraud and his pursuit of John Corzine and Dean's stolen $253,000.



Seems kind of simple when you put it that way.


To quote United States Attorney General Eric Holder at Columbia University


From Dealbook.New York Times.



In Mr. Holder's defense, he makes no distinction between historically good and historically bad.


To quote Samuel Goldwyn over and over and over and ...


If I look confused it is because I am thinking.

We're overpaying him, but he's worth it.

Don't pay any attention to the critics - don't even ignore them.

God makes stars. I just produce them. 

Give me a couple of years, and I'll make her an overnight success.

Go see it and see for yourself why you shouldn't go see it.

When someone does something good, applaud! You will make two people happy.

The harder I work, the luckier I get.

No person who is enthusiastic about his work has anything to fear from life.

I read part of it all the way through.

I never liked you, and I always will.

The reason so many people turned up at his funeral is that they wanted to make sure he was dead.

I was always an independent, even when I had partners.

I'll take fifty percent efficiency to get one hundred percent loyalty.

If I could drop dead right now, I'd be the happiest man alive.

If Roosevelt were alive today, he'd turn over in his grave.

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Don't worry about the war. It's all over but the shooting.

Every director bites the hand that lays the golden egg.

Let's have some new cliches.

Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day.

Include me out.

I can give you a definite maybe.

I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.

I hate a man who always says "yes" to me. When I say "no" I like a man who also says "no."

I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their job.


To quote Henry Ford once again.






To quote Stanisław Jerzy Lec







Something to remember the next time one of the doofae on that panel of experts asks the question.


To quote Euripides over and over


Nothing has more strength than dire necessity.

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.

Much effort, much prosperity.

Whoso neglects learning in his youth, loses the past and is dead for the future.

New faces have more authority than accustomed ones.

Forgive, son; men are men; they needs must err.

Do not plan for ventures before finishing what's at hand.

Ignorance of one's misfortunes is clear gain.

The good and the wise lead quiet lives.


To quote Groucho Marx over and over and over again


I intend to live forever, or die trying.

I have nothing but confidence in you, and very little of that.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the wrong remedies.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I've had a perfectly wonderful evening.  But this wasn't it.
There is one way to find out if a man is honest; ask him!  If he says yes you know he's crooked.  
Money will not make you happy, and happy will not make you money.
Time wounds all heels.
Outside of a dog a book is man’s best friend.  Inside a dog it’s too dark to read.
Those are my principles.  If you don’t like them, I have others.
I don’t care to belong to a club that would have someone like me for a member.
The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing.  If you can fake that, you've got it made.
My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been one.
Here’s to our wives and girlfriends, may they never meet.
Women should be obscene and not heard.
I remember the first time I had sex.   I kept the receipt.
Don’t ever underestimate the importance of money. I know it’s often been said that money won’t make you happy and this is undeniably true, but everything else being equal, it’s a lovely thing to have around the house.
Now there's a man with an open mind - you can feel the breeze from here!
I must say I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.
When I was young I was amazed at Plutarch's statement that the elder Cato began at the age of eighty to learn Greek. I am amazed no longer. Old age is ready to undertake tasks that youth shirked because they would take too long.
Years ago, I tried to top everybody, but I don't anymore, I realized it was killing conversation. When you're always trying for a topper you aren't really listening. It ruins communication.
I chased a woman for almost two years only to discover her tastes were exactly like mine - we were both crazy about girls.
I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him.
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men, the other 999 follow women.
A man's only as old as the woman he feels.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy.
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows, marriage does.
Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.
I wish to be cremated. One tenth of my ashes shall be given to my agent, as written in our contract.
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open.
Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early.
Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honor; which is probably more than she ever did.
Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
Room service? Send up a larger room.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
Why a four-year-old child could understand this report. Run out and find me a four-year-old child. I can't make head nor tail of it.
I cannot say that I do not disagree with you.
If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.


To quote the always reliable Groucho Marx



Last night was pretty much fun around here.

While our facebook friends stifled a collective yawn over yesterday's post, The Minions perked up quite nicely.

Finger pointing, ruffled feathers, and vitriolic outrage were the order of the evening until Deana offered up the indisputable wisdom of Groucho Marx and pretty much ended the festival.





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