Democrats are the only reason to vote for Republicans.
No party is as bad as its leaders.
We always want the best man to win an election. Unfortunately, he never runs.
The best thing about this group of candidates is that only one of them can win.
There's no way in the world you're going to make a political party respectable unless you keep it out of office.
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it.
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
I can remember way back when a liberal was generous with his own money.
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.
I think this sales tax is the best tax we have had in years.
We'll show the world we are prosperous, even if we have to go broke to do it.
I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times.
If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping.
'Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that's mass production.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
Things will get better-despite our efforts to improve them.
When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.
Rumor travels faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth.
Never miss a good chance to shut up.
Say as little as possible while appearing to be awake.
Things ain't what they used to be and never were.
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Even though you are on the right track - you will get run over if you just sit there.
No nation ever had two better friends than we have. You know who they are? The Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
I have a scheme for stopping war. No nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one.