Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it.
I read Shakespeare and the Bible, and I can shoot dice. That's what I call a liberal education.
Let's not quibble! I'm the foe of moderation, the champion of excess. If I may lift a line from a die-hard whose identity is lost in the shuffle, "I'd rather be strongly wrong than weakly right."
There is less in this than meets the eye.
I'm not at my best when I start to moralize or philosophize. Logic is elusive, especially to one who so rarely uses it.
I've been called many things, but never an intellectual.
I'm as pure as the driven slush.
The only thing I regret about my past is the length of it. If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.
I have three phobias which, could I mute them, would make my life as slick as a sonnet, but as dull as ditch water: I hate to go to bed, I hate to get up, and I hate to be alone.
I have been absolutely hag-ridden with ambition. If I could wish to have anything in the world it would be to be free of ambition.
I did what I could to inflate the rumor I was on my way to stardom. What I was on my way to, by any mathematical standards known to man, was oblivion, by way of obscurity.
It's one of the tragic ironies of the theatre that only one man in it can count on steady work -- the night watchman.
If you really want to help the American theater, don't be an actress, dahling. Be an audience.
Don't be taken in by the guff that critics are killing the theater. Commonly they sin on the side of enthusiasm. Too often they give their blessing to trash.
Television could perform a great service in mass education, but there's no indication its sponsors have anything like this on their minds.
Here's a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once.
I'll come and make love to you at five o'clock. If I'm late start without me.
The less I behave like Whistler's mother the night before, the more I look like her the morning after.
My father warned me about men and booze, but he never mentioned a word about women and cocaine.