Samuel Clemens

“If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.”

 “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”

 “The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.”

 “I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.”

 “Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.”

 “Classic' - a book which people praise and don't read.”

 “Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”

 “Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.”

 “Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”

“But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?”

 “Wrinkles should merely indicate where the smiles have been.”

 “Loyalty to country ALWAYS. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.”

 “God created war so that Americans would learn geography.”

 “Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.”

 “If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.”

 “Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.”

 “Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.”

“Education: the path from cocky ignorance to miserable uncertainty.”

“The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up.”